Really?

Today's workout included deadlifts, and I was hopeful that my back was ready for them. It's been feeling great, and after yesterday's heavy back squats I had no trouble at all. I decided during the warm-up to go light and use 135#. It felt good during the warm-up so I went with it.

WOD
3 rounds for time of:
10 Deadlifts (Men 275 lbs, Women 185 lbs)
50 Double-unders

My time: 12:13, modified

Started the workout with 135 lbs, and deadlifts felt solid. I went pretty slow, paying attention to form. On the last deadlift when I released the bar I could feel that all too familiar pain in my low back. Then I tried jumping rope and it was excruciating!! I stretched a little, and finally got it to loosen up enough to do that round of double unders.

Went back to the deadlifts for the second round, still having some slight low back pain and decided to drop to 85 lbs for the remainder of the WOD. Here's where my ego just got completely crushed. I should be able to do 185# deadlifts with no trouble whatsoever, and here I am modifying to 85. Wow...my head was just filled with negative thoughts - old, slow, weak...blah blah. I had to just shut it out and focus on what I could do, and get through the workout as best I could.

I know I need to just reconcile this issue in my mind/body/ego and move on. I don't need to risk injury just to satisfy an emotional response to what is just a temporary physical limitation. I need to stop telling myself I'm weak if I don't go heavy. I need to really go easy on deadlifts and be okay with that!