I'm Fat

There. 

I said it. 

I'm fat. 

I gained weight on vacation and it's driving me mad!  I know...patience...I'll lose it, but I just went through this after my summer vacation.  Same 8'ish pounds.  You'd think I would learn. I seem to have zero self control on vacation.  Actually, the first two days I was very proud of myself.  I ate salads with grilled chicken or fish.  And then the beer drinking commenced.  And the vodka drinks started flowing.  And then the rum drinks were soon to follow.  And two weeks of that really added up to a lot of drinking and zero self control on food choices. 

The difference between ten years ago and now is incredible.  Ten years ago I could get away with a lot more indiscriminate eating and drinking.  But I'm pushing 50 here, and it seems my metabolism has derailed entirely.  I gain weight just smelling carbs.

I've been eating clean for two weeks and my scales have not yet rewarded me - no, instead I have actually gained a tiny bit more.  So, I'm examining every single item on my food plan.  Do I have enough fat?  Too much fat?  Carbs?  To much or too little?  Plenty of fresh veggies and fish, a few berries and a piece of fruit every day.  It will eventually pay off, but it is absolutely maddening that I find myself right back at square one, where I was in September. Again!! 

CrossFit helps me keep my sanity, however.  I know I'm working out as hard as I possibly can.  I know with diligence and patience I'll drop the weight and not feel like such a total fat-ass in a few months.

But I vow right now, when I hit the beach in Jamaica this June, I will resist all the temptations of the delicious resort food and make way better choices.  I could go the entire week there and stay Primal/Paleo - the healthy choices are there.  I can even request specially prepared meals if I want to.  I just need to show a little restraint and choose one day to cheat, just like I do at home.  I can do this.  I have to do this.  I refuse to be fat!!
 
Okay, enough of that.... 

*********

Today I ran a slow 400 to test and see how my back felt while running.  I need to get out and run a decent 5k this week.  My back is sore from last week, but it won't kill me to run.  I went very light on back squats today, and I'm just babying it until I feel safe about squatting heavy again.

Today's WOD:

As many rounds as possible in 8 minutes of:
7 Chest to bar pull-ups
7 Ring dips

My rounds:  6 even - did kipping plu & bar dips

Back Squats:  5 ea @ 35-45-55-65