Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Dumbbell Hell

Oh, how I love and hate this workout.

This morning when I woke up, I had slept with my arms in such a position that both my hands had gone numb and  turning off the alarm clock  was a major effort.  I could barely pick up my phone to check the WOD.  When I saw it, I muttered something along the lines of "My damn hands don't even work, how can I do this workout?"  Ha ha!  Getting older and crazier by the minute, I tell ya!

Well, my hands woke up and I made it to the gym for one of my favorite love/hate workouts:

Every minute on the minute for 20 minutes:

5 Dumbbell deadlifts
5 Dumbbell hang power cleans
5 Dumbbell thrusters
The rx’d dumbbell weight is 45% bodyweight for men and 30% bodyweight for women (that is
both dumbbells combined).

Post dumbbell weight used, total minutes completed and total rounds completed thereafter.

My DB weight: 20# ea, completed 20 rounds

Rounds 1-5:  I feel like a total bad ass, raring to go, finishing the rounds in about 23-25 seconds. I love this. 

Rounds 6-10: Reality sets in that I'm in for a long, grueling workout, but I'm still somehow finishing about 25 seconds in.  Starting to gasp for air like the fat kid on the playground and wishing for a longer recovery period.  Thrusters are starting to burn like Hell, but otherwise feeling pretty good.

Rounds 10-12: The mental battle begins.  Really,  I want to quit.  I want to puke.  I don't need CrossFit!  This is insane!  I am going to lay these dumbbells down and just leave!  Or puke.  Or maybe just lay down on this nice rubber mat for a few minutes, because no way can I walk out of here on so little oxygen.

Rounds 13-15:  Somehow I'm still finishing in under 30 seconds.  But I'm wheezing like an asthmatic kid sneaking a cigar.  I'm going to pass out.  I'm not sure how everyone else is still standing - are they even human? Some of these people don't even look like they're sweating!  They're walking around, talking, getting drinks of water like it's a damn picnic!  I vaguely hear, through the madness in my mind, "only five more rounds".  Since I can hear, I must still be alive. And if I'm alive, I have to keep moving!

Rounds 16-20:  Nothing is left in me except the sheer will to finish this bitch of a workout, and thankfully a little bit of muscle memory from having done these moves so many times.  I'm on some sort of oxygen-deprived, exercise induced high that feels like an out of body experience and the only coherent thought I can form is "please let this end".  I'm on auto-pilot.

Mercifully, the workout ended, and I made it through all 20 rounds.  I spent a good 3-5 minutes just laid out on the floor gasping for air, writhing in misery.

After a little recovery time, I felt like a total bad ass all over again.

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