I'm a big friggin' mess today.

Wow.

So, you're rolling along thinking life is fine and then BAM out of the blue you're just a big crybaby.

Shit.  Ok, let me back up.  Just before Thanksgiving I was informed that our equity partners are backing out, and our company will be shutting down.  For good. Final. Over. Done.  I. Will. Have. No. Job. 

I've been through every possible emotion over it, and thought I was close to the point of acceptance.  I mean I have no choice but to accept it.  But emotionally, mentally I'm not there yet.  I thought I was, but I'm not.  I'm a big crying, sobbing mess today.  I hate feeling weak like this.  I hate not having an answer.  I hate having to deal with this bullshit.  I don't want to have to go on interviews.  I don't want to have to start all over.

 I am pissed.  I am stunned.  I am lost.

LOST

The only place I can truly let go of it is at the gym, when I need to focus on what I'm doing so I don't accidentally kill myself with a barbell or something.  Or you know, someone else.  Ha! 

Today I channeled all this emotion into getting a PR.  Although at the time I didn't know it was a PR, it just felt like a really awesome solid lift.  It feels good and that's what my focus will be on today.  This one success for the day, a 130# Hang Power Clean.  Go me!!


6min AMRAP
-6 Hang Power Clean 155/105 RX+ 185/125 MRX 115/65
-30 Double-unders
-12cal Row
Immediately into
6min Build to a 1 RM Hang Power Clean


WOD MRx = 2 rds + 23 DU
Max HPC: 130# – 5# PR!!


This was our warmup:

2min HPC w/65: 40
2min DU’s: 50 + 30 singles
2min Row for Cal: 25
1min HPC w/65: 25
1min DU’s: 32
1min Row for Cal: 15